I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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