What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
