apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
