my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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