she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Randomize
