My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
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