Soap is not a condiment
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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