fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
