my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
