Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
