He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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