I looked at my own cervix.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
