I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
she peed on how many people?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
