Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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