i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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