I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
