I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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