just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize