D3 body, D1 cock
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
