You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
