Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
