I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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