STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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