legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
