i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
