Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
