So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
