her vagine was all disorganized.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
