Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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