you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize