vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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