my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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