You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
