woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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