I didn't shave. On purpose
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
