There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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