You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
