cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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