Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize