I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
