So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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