quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
