lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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