josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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