Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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