i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
