Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
