At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize