I wanna bring you to show and tell
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
