i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
