Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
im holly from the hills drunk
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
