Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
