D3 body, D1 cock
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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