That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
