She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
