If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
