If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
