Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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