Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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