how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
