I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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