Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
All the doctor said was why
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
