apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
