If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
