one two three fourrrrnication!
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
