wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Green mimosas i think yes
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
