Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
