I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
